Dialysis Update

Things are looking up! My new and improved overnight dialysis machine and I have gotten more used to each other. Not quite as much pain and sleeping better. Still have to do one manual dialysis session in the afternoon, but hoping to stop that next month, and roll it back into the overnight regimen.

The best thing is that I’m starting to feel slow improvements as a result of the dialysis taking the place of my failed kidneys. I’m having more good days then bad now. I don’t feel as weak or shaky. I’ve been explaining it like this…if I was 100% before all this started, I probably got down to 10% the first few months of this year, and now feeling at about 40-50% these days. VERY happy with the progress.

Stacy and I even tried a short get-away last weekend, hauling all my manual paraphernalia with us. All went well, and we got some needed relaxation and renewal in Julian, San Diego’s quaint mountain town.

This Monday is our first appointment with my transplant team at Scripps Green Hospital in La Jolla. We’ll spend all day with various team members, talking through the whole process and each step. We’ll get an idea of the timeline and what to tell those who have offered to donate a kidney for me. Very excited to get this part of the solution moving forward.

And thanks to friend Heather Spears Kallus for using parts of my story in a wonderful blog post called Power in the Name:


We’ve decided to escape our home/hospital for a couple days. Heading up to the mountains to spend some time with Jeremy and Lauren. Then dinner with my honey in Julian tonight. Then brunch tomorrow morning with Brian and his family in Temecula. We reeeaaaally need this.


Lake Cuyamaca on a crisp morning (47)

Understanding of God

Just happened to read these 2 things within a few hours of each other. Both speak strongly to where my understanding of God has gone over the years. See if they resonate with you…

“Eighty and six years have I served him, and He never did me any injury. How then can I blaspheme my King and my Saviour?” — Polycarp, a Disciple of John the Apostle and Bishop of Smyrna, before he was burned at the stake for his faith. (Thanks Rick Marschall)

And exceptional insights from Wendy Francisco:

I had this remarkable conversation with a horseman today … he says, “There is something I’d like to ask these christians. I have this friend, he goes to church all the time until his mom dies of cancer. Then he gets mad at God for killing his mom, and stops going to church. So here’s the question – where on earth do these christians get the idea that God would kill somebody’s mom??” I just said “Good question.” And this is the sort of thing I hear all the time which rattles, not my faith, but my religion. And it’s good to have one’s religion rattled. My question is, where does this horseman get his accurate insight about God if he doesn’t spend half his life in a pew? Well, he sees horses born, and he sees them die at the end of their life. He rides when it is pleasant out, and he rides when it rains and the barbed wire hums with electricity from lightning. He sees what is chaos and what is intention, what is empty and what is full. Creation is a testament… more direct than a sermon. Everyone thinks they are the chosen people, that they have a corner on grace and revelation. But you can only believe these things if you stay in a small box for a long time. Grace and deep knowledge are like rain, falling everywhere, and nourishing everyone. Some hear, some are deaf, some are learning, and religious badges have nothing to do with it. When we open our eyes and see that the sky is blue, it can rattle our religions, and that might make way for a deeper faith.

Got a good rattlin’ from that…


885644_10152815324673016_5021312362600408962_oWhile I miss my mom SO much (gone now over 20 years), I think God spared her this battle I’m in. Not sure she would have fared well through it. Still…she is sorely missed. But, cancer didn’t have the last word. Jesus did.


Best Friend


Meet my new best friend. My new kidneys. Kidneys in a box. Robo kidneys. Aka my new overnight dialysis machine. It worked great last night – hardly any pain at all. Life is now going to be much better!

And I have my first all day appointment with my transplant team at Scripps setup for June 1st. Onward!


Was deeply touched today to read two friend’s posts about losing loved ones, and sharing some amazing ways to convey that promotion from this life to the next. I thought I’d share…

“Last night, he breathed new air, and found it celestial. Cancer, you didn’t get the last word. Jesus did. 1 Corinthians 15:54-57”

“He is now officially in charge of re-arranging the clouds, the sunrises, and the sunsets. He started his new job early this morning. He will be sorely missed, but remembered daily. He prepared this lovely full moon for my return home, sad but so happy that his journey has begun.”